This past month has been one of the biggest struggles I've faced. And it's for a reason that you will probably read and think is completely lame and invalid. So lame, that I'm almost embarrassed to even blog about this crap. But whatever. This is my blog, and if it's on my mind and I'm struggling, I can do what I want!
I mentioned going gluten free in December. The only reason I did it was because in August, I started having this horrible acid reflux. It was so bad that I spent a month sleeping sitting up in my bed, propped up by pillows. At one point I even used our son's Boppy pillow around my neck for support. I had a bad choking sensation in my throat that would last for hours, or sometimes literally all day long. I was in misery. Of course, I went to the Dr., thinking they'd give me something that would completely fix it, but that didn't happen. My Dr. gave me a prescription for the reflux that did nothing. Then, she sent me to the G.I. doctor. She was a really nice doctor, but I tried 5 different prescriptions, and nothing fixed my problem. Taking pill after pill and still feeling like shit day after day wasn't what I expected. I've always thought I was the epitome of good health, so this was a huge punch to the gut. Not only was I dealing with this physical garbage, but I still had the responsibility of teaching my kids (who are homeschooled), caring for our baby, and running our household. I noticed if I ate certain things, it made my reflux a lot worse. I had to cut chocolate, salsa, tomato based things, and my ultimate favorite thing- Dunkin Donuts iced coffee. Those coffees to me are like crack. If I was stressed, I'd stop by my local coffee pot and get a medium sized caramel iced latte, or a butter pecan iced latte. OMG... Butter Pecan Latte. Where else can I find such pleasure?. I remember the sweetness of the flavored syrups and the cold beads of water on my plastic DD cup as I took my first sip through the straw. I literally lost 10 lbs in the course of giving all of that up, and frankly, I don't give a damn how many calories were in those- I'd rather have the 10lbs on me and me drinking my addiction drink! They made me feel happy when I was having a crappy day, and comforted when I was feeling down or distressed. Whatever. I was about to say I know this sounds crazy, but nix that--- it's just totally Honey-Boo Boo- American.
Well, I guess I need to skip ahead to get to the point. My G.I. doc couldn't help me. She told me I'll likely have this reflux my entire life. I remember the car ride home, calling my mom with tears in my eyes, feeling totally defeated. Here I thought there was some quick fix for the mirage of symptoms I'd been having, and hearing that I might have to keep going through the next however-many years of my life feeling like I'm choking on something was enough to really start bringing on the depression.
I cut the gluten out of my diet after a friend of mine was telling me how wheat is an inflammatory and hard for our system to digest. At first, I felt the gluten free diet was stressful, but I soon realized I could still make many things as long as I changed up a few ingredients and checked labels. I could still make certain sweets that I crave by buying mixes or changing up the flours (Flours is plural because with gluten-free, you're using 2-6 different flours). It was expensive, buying this ingredients, but I figured if it was just me maybe we could swing it. The GF diet didn't stop my reflux, as I had hoped, although after a few weeks. So, after a few times of bitching on Facebook about my sufferings, a friend told me about this new doctor who is a nutritionist and chiro. She uses a technique called the Nutritional Release Testing and it establishes ALL the areas in your body that are suffering, which end up causing a conga line of problems over the years. Such as my reflux, perhaps.
This friend of mine was diagnosed with GERD before finding Dr. Palmer and seeking treatment from her. The treatments, though they can be difficult, worked on her, and she no longer suffers with those nasty GERD symptoms. She doesn't have to take those antacids, either, which can cause a lot of harm to your body over the years. (Just google it... you'll see). The healing remedies start with daily consumption of whole food supplements targeting the specific area of the body that is ailing, to bring healing, but it also includes major dietary changes. No processed foods, and no sugar. They even consider honey to be a sugar that they don't want you consuming. Well, I use to be REALLY big into baking. It's just something I've always enjoyed doing. Just when I thought that the gluten thing didn't look so dim, along comes more challenges for me.
In some ways, I feel like I've lost part of my identity, because I was always into baking from scratch.... yummy treats for my kids....baking WITH my kids. It's just a part of who I am. I love the pretty pictures of the retro mamas with their aprons tied around their tiny little waists, holding a plate of cookies out to their kids. But now I'm searching, like trying to figure out which way to go. Everyone has an opinion, including the doctors. Everyone has their angle. It's just been tough to find what I CAN do without making me feel like I'm missing our or being punished. My middle son was also tested by Dr. Palmer, and has many food sensitivities and allergies that will have to be addressed, and diets changed for his healing. And this kid loves sweets (like his mama).
One day at a time.
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